TOWER OF BABEL BIBLE COLLEGE
TOWER OF BABEL BIBLE COLLEGE
Our motto: Shall we sin that grace may abound? Shall we ever!
Sample Examination Paper - Strictly Copyright
Section One (for all students):
Section Two (intermediate students):
Section three (advanced students only):
5.00a.m.Bell to arouse students.
5.00 - 6.00 Cold showers, private devotions, quiet times, pre-class jogging,
6.00 - 6.05 Chapel Hour. (Our dear Principal)
6.05 - 6.15 Breakfast, roll-call.
6.15 - 6.30 In-depth Church History lecture.
6.30 - 7.00 Discussion Time. Students will prepare lists of personal problems and grievances against other students. Staff shortcomings may not be mentioned.
7.00 - 12.00 Christianity in Action. Students will work in college vege garden, serve in college nearly-new shop, prepare college lunch and build the Principal's new Memorial College Wing. This course qualifies for the Missionary Skills diploma.
12.00 - 12.15 Lunch, roll-call.
12.15 - 12.25 Mail Hour. Students may read their incoming mail and compose any suitable replies. All outgoing mail to be place unsealed on the secretary's desk for the prayerful consideration of staff.
12.25 - 5.00 Good News Outreach. Practical door-to-door evangelism. Students will take their Live in Hope suitcases of cosmetics, patent laxatives, all-purpose brushes and glossy novels to the needy, sin-burdened suburban housewives. If a sale is made, they may offer a kind word or a tract. All proceeds go to defray the cost of setting up this grand faith venture, due to the zeal of our dear Principal in co-operation with Amway, Avon, Rawleighs, Bon Brush and Grolier Enterprises, bless them!
5.00 - 5.30 Meal preparation (volunteers for this, please, otherwise go without).
5.30 - 5.45 Dinner Hour, roll-call.
5.45 - 9.45 Lectures, led by Brethren from local Assemblies. Topics: exposition, echatology, hermeneutics, apologetics, polemics, exegesis, linguistic analysis and the identification of palimpsests.
9.45 - 9.50 Epilogue Hour. (Our dear Principal)
9.50 - 10.00 Supper. Students whose food parcels are delayed should share with others.
10.00 Lights out.
10.00p.m. - 5.00a.m. Free Time. Options include: night of prayer and fasting; social awareness (video); outreach to the lost at nearby rages, twenty-firsts, etc.
NEWS FROM OUR OLD STUDENTS
All graduating students are required to sign an undertaking to supply an up-to-date contact address and to write at three-monthly intervals. In return, they receive regular copies of the college news-letter, a supply of Faith Pledges and our written assurance that their whereabouts will not be divulged to any government agencies as long as donations are promptly forthcoming.
SAM GOOBERMAN: Student of the Year throughout all his stay in college, Sam was an inspiration by his humility, spirituality and deep dedication to his studies. To bad one of you girls didn't land him as a husband, but even a great all-rounder like Sam has to have the odd blind spot. Sam writes to us:
Hi to all you Babel Bible-ites down in li'l ole Noo Zealand. I guess I should jess take time out to write 'n' thank each and every one of yew for those great years at yore swell li'l ole college.
I guess I wondered how you-all would receive me when I fust en-rolled. Shucks-to-Betsy, I needn't have worried. The fact that my pappy is pastor of the Blessed City of Light, the fastest-growing church in the state, not to say the richest, and the fact that ma has a li'l ole string of oil wells due to a settlement made by one of her previous husbands, why, none of that made any diff'rence to the way I wuz received by you-all. Ahm sure that any other stoodent would have been excused lectures and exams if they'd found the going kinda rough, jes like I did. Efter orl, it's what's in the hey-art, not in the hey-ad that counts, as yore fabulous Principal used to say - only he said it in that cute little unintelligible Noo Zealand accent that you-all have. Guess you need to watch more good ole US of A tv and catch up with the rest of the world, huh?
Hey, afore I sign off, I'd like for to have all you great folks come 'n' mosey over to the ranch this fall for a little vay-cation. We c'n have a fine ole clambake an' a real foot-stompin' hoe-down. I'll come 'n' pick you-all up in mah very own private Lear Executive jet which pappy done give me for mah bruthday. Regretfully, seeing as Ah always travel with a val-et an' stooards an' secretaries to look after the de-tails, that'll only leave room for your amazing Principal and his glorious wife. But you'll be in our thoughts, you can bet your sweet life.
Once again, thanks a million for teaching me that wealth ain't everything. Ahm going tew remember that when Ah take over the Blessed City of Light Church, the shrine of the divine dollar.
Bless you real good, huh.
Sam Gooberman IV
SID GRUNGE: No, Sid, we haven't forgotten you either. Conventions aren't the same without you to move the chairs and sweep the floors. You had a real ministry there. Glad to hear how the Cape Reinga scrub-cutting programme is going. My word, you make us city types feel ashamed at our puny efforts, really you do! And we look forward to the sack of kina and pipis you've asked your cousin to drop in next time he shoots through to visit the rest of the family in Mt. Eden. Keep in touch, Sid and keep on sending the fifty cents each week - you must be nearly half-way through paying those college fees now, eh?
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